Spending Some Dough for the ‘Gram

Cookie DŌ NYC has cracked the recipe for success: take an incredulous idea, slap on a brand name, and plaster it over social media. The Manhattan confectionary opened its doors January 2017, serving flamboyantly flavored edible dough by the pint.

Founder and CEO Kristen Tomlan intended to create a place reminiscent of her childhood kitchen. The company claims that its dough contains pasteurized egg products and heat-treated flour, making it safe to consume.

So, after the company’s colorful Instagram posts and Facebook videos began popping up on my feed, I decided to venture into this new realm of snacking. On a brisk Saturday morning, when I usually sleep in, I made the conscious decision to wait two hours in line for a scoop of sugar.

It was a thrill to wait in a line that stretched across the street and wrapped around the block! My company was especially entertaining, snapping selfies and Snapchat pictures instead of having a conversation. After roughly half an hour, an employee came down the line handing out menus. The laminated placards, in all their neon glory, seemed to hypnotize consumers into focusing on the pictures of “Brownie Batter” and “Gimme S’more” rather than their outrageous prices. In the moment, $7 for two scoops of raw dough seemed a justifiable price for our sugar cravings. Never mind that those dollars could have been better spent on a chair (desperately needed)!

Things became quite awkward after an hour of waiting in line. Apartment residents of the area watched from above with sharp glares of irritation. People with bags of groceries frequently fumbled by. Thankfully, a crossing guard soon arrived to help us cross the street… to yet another line! At least this time, we were within eyesight of DŌ’s storefront. The perfect place to take pictures, or so our neighbors seemed to think as they proceeded to have an entire photoshoot.

Then at last! We fell into the store with anticipation, and crashed into a swarm of people crammed inside. Chest to back, we stood in one snaking line around the store. My tired feet and aching head were offended by the lack of seating, but at least there was a pink neon sign telling me that my “Dreams dough come true.” Anyways, I wasn’t here to have a relaxed dining experience — rather, this was all for the social media trend.

After an exhausting two hour journey, I finally received two scoops of chocolate chip dough with sprinkles on top for the pretty sum of $7.50. Before eating a thing, we waited in line to snap a picture with the polka-dot wall.

I took one bite and realized that when Tomlan said, “Having a sweet tooth doesn’t hurt!” she meant it quite literally. The dough appeared to have an exorbitant amount of sugar, sugar, and more sugar. In fact, my normally strong sweet tooth was quivering under the pressure. Apparently they decided against putting literally any other ingredient into the dessert.

Under the heat of the sun, the dough began to thicken and stick to my cheeks and teeth. My stomach, feeling slightly nauseous, soon gave up. I chucked approximately $6.25 into the nearest trash can.

With an eager push of a button, I uploaded the polka-dot wall picture to Instagram: “DŌ’nt you wish you could eat this!”

Ironically, I had barely eaten a thing.

Originally written for a high school Journalism class in Nov 2018.